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City: 63102 St Louis, Missouri
I owe my freedom to this shirt. Let me explain.
I work with lots of women. Thousands of them. Some would say I have a position of authority. Mix in my general awesomeness, and one would say it is a recipe for a sexual harassment suit. Unfortunately, that's exactly what happened. It was only a matter of time. I knew I was innnocent, and I'm sure at this point you, the reader are assuming innocence on my part as well. After all...innocent until proven guilty, no?
It can be said that a man who acts as his own lawyer has a fool for a client. I was that fool. At the trial, I was asked to make an opening statement for the defense of my foolish client, to which I responded, "I only have one thing to say in defense of my client, and that is in order for there to be a sexual harassment suit in the workplace, two things must be present. One, the accused must have a position of authority, to which there is no argument. My client has a position of authority. B, in order to qualify as sexual harassment, the actions performed by the accused toward the victim must be unwelcome. To show that there is no way that any such actions could be perceived as unwelcome, I enter into evidence, Exhibit A."
Immediately upon finishing my opening argument, I pressed play on the tape deck of the boom box I brought with me. The sweet strains of "Slow Ride" by Foghat blared throughout the courtroom. I then flipped my mullet out from the back of my gray Members Only jacket where it was hidden and unzipped the front of it to reveal the Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee. Before I could reach down to retrieve my sweet mirrored shades to complete my look, chaos erupted throughout the court. Six female and one male member of the jury immediately began trying to fight their way past one another to be the first to climb over the railing and prostrate themselves at my feet. While the male bailiff was trying his best to restrain the jurors within their box, there was no one to stop the female court stenographer. She took the pins out of her hair as she moved toward me, letting her auburn locks fall about her shoulders. Half way to me, her breathing was so heavy that she popped the top button on her blouse as her wanton bosom strained to break free of the conservative suit she had chosen for the day.
The judge pounded his gavel, shouting for order in the court...but there was none to be found. He knew that we were mere seconds away from a sexual attack in which my client (still me) was suddenly shifted from the accused to a victim-in-waiting. Unfortunately for any voyeurs attending the trial, nothing really happened and the courtroom became quite boring after that. The judge dismissed the trial on the count of overwhelming evidence against any sexual advancement on my part being unwelcome. I zipped back up my jacket, covering up the Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee, and turned off my tunes. Before the stenographer could be escorted from the premises, she did manage to remove her panties and throw them to me. Luckily for her, she remembered that she always wrote her name and phone number on her panties like her mother told her to do as a child, but that is another story.
This tablet is loved by my daughter. It helped her get away from my tablet. The only downfall with leapfrog products is the extra games are really expensive. She likes the base system pretty alright though.